How to Deal with Negativity

Let’s be honest. It’s easier to be negative than it is to be positive. Curse that person with road rage. Flick the teacher off who gives you a bad grade. Blame the football coach for lack of playing time. Be pissed off that my son recently received an IEP (including special education) because his brain can’t function at the ability it once did before he received the flu mist and was hospitalized for almost two months in a coma and quadriplegic half of the time. (My eight-year-old son’s story is true and happened October through November 2015. He had Guillain-Barre Syndrome and encephalitis. We will review the IEP and special education plan next Monday.)

But how does negativity make you feel? Is it solving anything?

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This is my eleven-year-old daughter, Xayla. She was fine being my model as long as I didn’t show her face. 😋

Being positive takes work!

Positive energy requires controlling one’s natural response to react to or situation or snap! It takes discipline and self-control. How can you get there?

Acknowledge Your Feelings First

When my son was hospitalized for two months, most of the time I felt like I had to be “strong.” We are human. Being stoic is not normal. I realized that it is okay to be sad, angry, or whatever you feel like. Allow yourself to feel those feelings first. Acknowledge that they are there.

If someone upset you, it is easy to say, “brush it off.” We have hearts, emotions, depths, and layers. “Brush if off” is easier said than done. It’s better to acknowledge your feelings. Accept them even. Just don’t do anything stupid (meaning you will regret it later).

Come Up with A Plan

When you are calm, come up with a plan. The best plan has positive results. Do you think yelling back at someone will give you positive results? Um, no. What about reacting to road rage? Crazy road rage people carry guns nowadays! So I vote, no.

With my son, my goal is to get him to his best self. I can’t control what happened to him. It happened. I’ve grieved over his “old” self, and I’m over that. What I can control are the resources he receives to give him the best future. Therefore, all of my energy is being spent on getting him the therapies he needs. Additionally, I provide him quality homework time to get him caught up. I make him do a little more homework than his peers. We play memory games or card games to help his brain react sooner. We read a little longer than is required as well. He doesn’t like this right now, but I told him that it’s not okay to just accept where he is at. He needs to fight (in a positive way) for more. He is a fighter.

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This was Jy in October 2015. He was in a coma.
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October 2016 picture of Jy. He’s a miracle! ❤️

How do you handle when people ar negative toward you? This can tear you down and eat at your self-esteem. We all want to be accepted, but the fact is not everyone will like us. When we allow the negative energy to consume us, we lose in the end. How can you be productive when you feel crappy about yourself? The best way to handle negative people or hate toward you is to succeed. Don’t spend time feeding into the negative energy. Use your energy to keep trying to make your life better today than it was yesterday. That’s what matters. No one will care about your happiness or success more than you (and most parents)

Energy

We are all busy and are trying to find our way in this complicated world. We also have limited time and energy to work with. Why spend any of our energy on negativity? It just sucks away at your productivity and happiness. Spend your time and energy on your happiness and becoming a better person today than you were yesterday.

Please let me know your thoughts! ❤️

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Image credit: Pinterest Positive Energy Quotes 
positive-energy-quote
Image credit: Pinterest Positive Energy Quotes

42 thoughts on “How to Deal with Negativity

  1. I dealt with a learning challenged child and the school systems. I support your call for positive thoughts since they will be most helpful in dealing with the situation. Your boy is beautiful. I’m sure your daughter is as well. but……..Nice hoodie though.

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    1. John,
      Yeah, this is my first time having to deal with a child with some special needs in the school system. It’s been some work, but a positive attitude, persistence, and being an advocate have all been worth it! Thanks, on Jy. He’s a cutie. We are blessed. Xayla, my daughter, is cute too. She will show her face one day. Nice hoodie… ha ha ha. Always nice to chat with you, John!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m shocked about your son. I don’t understand what the flue mist is. Is is another means to give the flu vaccine? I’ve disciplined myself not to get upset, not to cave into negativity. It takes a long time to do just that and on my “bad” days or “tired” days I slip. We all do. We’re human. But normally my first reaction is not negative. It really isn’t. I’ve just so determined not to allow others to bother me.
    Now to encourage YOU and your son. In 2001 I detoxed from 7 major prescription meds given to me by a doctor who today is facing prison because of how many people he injured and killed. When I approached this doctor to help me detox he refused so I did it all myself. Three months of hell on earth, going through every symptom in the book and almost dying several times. After it was done, still getting zapped with mini seizures every now and then, I could not interpret the written word nor could I write. I have an above normal IQ and I LOVE reading and writing. I was devastated! But!! I forced myself to read and I forced myself to write even though I couldn’t interpret or did so on a minimal level. It took me years to rewire my brain, to reteach my brain, but I did it. So too can your son so don’t give up and push him with extra homework even if he doesn’t like it. Please don’t stop. Nothing is impossible! BIG (((HUGS))) ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, the flu mist is the live attenuated version of the flu vaccine. It is not recommended anymore as of 2016. The year after my son received it.
      I like how you said you have determined to not let others bother you. It is a personal decision you make in advance.
      Wow, on the 7 major prescription meds! What an incredible story! Thank you for the inspiration. You had to fight to overcome a great trial! Jy’s brain is young, and he can relearn many things. It takes time, work, and persistence. “Nothing is impossible!” I ❤️​ it. Thank you! (HUGS! Back!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your son’s story confirms why my intuition has stopped me from getting flu shots. I also fight for my cats that they do not get the Rabies Vaccine. Two of my cats died because of it. Believe me, I am so sorry this happened to your son. He has the advantage of being young and I have every confidence he will surpass what he “once was”. I was 43 when I went through what I did and I was able to reprogram my brain. All the very best!!! Medicine does not have all the answers, and IMHO far from it. I’ve decicated my Life discovering alternative ways to seek health. IF you have time come on over to see my “special” post today. (Smile) ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oooooh, I’ll definately stop by for you “special” post. You don’t have to invite me twice. 🙂​ Interestingly, we’ve completed a lot of traditional therapy for a year. It helped, but he needed more. We are seeing a holistic doctor right now. Jy is on some minerals and vitamins. It has done some amazing things. I am a big time believer of holistic medicine after everything my son has gone through. Thanks, AmyRose!!! ❤️​❤️​

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  3. I am in love with your article. I am so sorry to read and see this about your son. But, I am so glad that he is up and running. All my love goes to him! Yes, yes, and yes to the advice you gave to your son. He needs to know that he is a fighter and that he will continue to fight positively every day and to keep on moving and staying active. I also agree with this one, “I can’t control what happened to him. It happened. I’ve grieved over his “old” self, and I’m over that. What I can control are the resources he receives to give him the best future.” Being concerned about the future only increases stress level. Take care of now, the future isn’t your concern. When it arrives, then, you’ll take care of it. Keep on fighting, keep on moving mom!

    I am sure that it wasn’t easy for you. But, you have gone through it. Good for you! 🙂 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Oristel! I forget to live in the now sometimes. I love your reminder on this. I’m always planning for the future, which is often out of my control 😬​. And thank you on my son. It has been a major trial, but we all go through trials. They make us stronger. How we cope with them matters more than the trial itself I think. So nice to meet you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That is very true. You are welcome. It happens, and it’s good to have goals. You need goal. Otherwise, living on earth would be worthless. but, it is when we start comparing our future to our present life is the issue. I am a dreamer. I have so many things that I need to do, and we all do. It’s okay to think ahead! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. That second picture of your son made me smile. Especially after the shock of seeing him in his hospital bed. I think both him and you (and your family) are strong!

    What helps me overcome negativity is to realise that in every situation, even the worst ones, lies at least a shimmer of positivity. Or a lesson to be learned. Negativity tends to stick around longer in our brains, but positivity makes us lighter. So focus on the light! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Samantha,
      I love this! Negativity definitely likes to hang around- too long sometimes. 😬​ “Shimmer of positivity.” What beautiful words! That’s all we need sometimes, right? A shimmer!!! I’ll focus on the “light” today 🙂​😍​. (And everyday, hopefully!!!) Thank you for your comment. It brightened my day! 🌝​

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I love that you stated that you have to acknowledge your feelings first. Sometimes we tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel a certain way, as if shouldn’t or should can make a difference on emotional response. Give yourself permission to feel how you do and acknowledge it. I’ve learned through mindful meditation that sometimes this act alone takes power away from those negative emotions. Acknowledge, analyze, then plan. Great post, and thank you for sharing about your son, I’m sure it was difficult to put out such a raw emotion, your positivity as you work with him to get him to his “best self” is inspirational!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BDeckard,
      Thank you for your comment! When my son was in the hospital, I had a lot of people tell me that I was “so strong” to deal with this trial. For some reason, this drove me NUTS! I couldn’t figure it out at first. I later realized it was because every time someone said it, it made me feel like I had to be strong all the time. This was very hard to do when your child is near death. Once I accepted my sad days, happy days, etc., life was better. We don’t have to always be “happy” or “strong” or whatever it is. We are human. Accept the ups and downs. Then we can analyze (mediate and/or pray) and plan. Thanks for understanding!!! 🙂​

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  6. A wonderful prescription for living life. Anger is a sneaky emotion that is usually covering up a different, more vulnerable emotion, trust me, since becoming sober I have learned a tremendous amount about my emotions and how to best regulate them. So happy for your sons progress!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks on my son, Rob! Anger is a “sneaky” emotion. I love that. You are so correct! “Vulnerable” emotion. I love that too. Great advice. Thank you for sharing. And congrats on becoming sober!!! 🙌​🙌​

      Liked by 1 person

  7. What a chilling thing to have happen. I read someone up there mentioned flu shots. I’ve never thought about not taking them. Since I’m diabetic they always insist at the doc’s. But now I’m thinking I might want to look into them a little more. Thank you for posting this. Your dedication to your son was the miracle he needed. 🙂

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  8. Hi Ipuna

    Been through your situation, just that the person (though his case is different) that I take care of is no longer around but it cost me everything, even my faith to go through all that. That was 18 years ago. Everything Ok now for me, just have to go through things as normal as I can, to try to avoid all that negative thoughts that still being heard from ‘inside and outside my system’, still being blamed for the loss but I do anything I can including writing to be stronger every single day.

    Whenever you have that negative feeling, always remember that there is someone up there looking at you, seeing if you are ably to successfully overcome all challenges. We are here today, on earth because of that someone above. That miracle (of JY) is given to you to see if you are being grateful towards yourself and others.

    Positivity comes from inner strength, believe in yourself, whenever we feel that we are challenged heavily by something, take a moment, tell yourself that there are more unfortunate people around the world, who faced the same situation but with tragic endings. If all people in this world do have that positivity, this world will be a better place, for sure.

    I love reading this particular article. Remind me of my state 18 years ago, almost commit suicide, without thinking much. I failed to convince myself that I am lucky to have my family around me that supports me, they still do regardless of what I think or do. I failed to be grateful. I failed to have that positive thinking. I was in the state of ‘being absolute negative’ about everything, blaming God or people for the loss.

    18 years later, I am extremely ashamed of myself if I remember that moment. I learnt my lesson well. Thanks to positive thinking, I am what I am now. Thank you again so much for the article, an inspirational one I say and I look forward to read that Special Education Plan as I am trying to help someone else here in my place, at least by giving views to the teachers.

    Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lan,
      What touching words. Do not be ashamed of your state 18 years ago. I believe that sometimes we need to be down. Feel sorry for ourselves. We are human. No way that we can always be happy like Mary Poppins. You are beating yourself up if you think that is true. Accept that we are human. Live with the negative feelings and fight your way out of it. We will always deal with negative situations. Each time, you should get better at switching your mindset to a positive one. You have obviously learned and grown from the situation. That is what matters most to you and to the man above. ⬆️​
      I will get you a copy of my son’s Special Education Plan. I’ll post it because maybe it will help others who don’t know what to advocate for. Thanks for asking about it! ❤️​

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh thank you so much Ipuna, really looking forward for that, someone here I think is in the same condition, I was informed 2 weeks ago and by chance I read this article of yours… cheers

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  9. Hi Ipuna,

    I hope your son is Ok , and I am sure that he will be with such a great mom.You are fighter.
    You said,and I agree,that it is much easier to be negative than positive, because all around us bad things are happening, and somehow they placed us by the mainstream media on a daily basis. And by time, the people acquire the habit of being negative.Their negative thoughts create negative hormones, and they become negative…

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    1. Thank you! ❤️​ I found it easier to write when I just be myself. The blogging world is interesting and intimidating because you are putting yourself out there. I’ve realized that there is only one me and only one you, so that makes our words unique in its own right!

      Liked by 1 person

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