A child (only 14-years-old) jumped to her death at my son’s high school on Sunday. This really disturbs me. I’m trying to grasp what feelings she must have had within to end it all. Here are a few of my thoughts.
Alone. No one to call a friend. My parents don’t understand me. Pressure to be someone in this pool of 3000 students. A voice. All I want is to be heard, but so does everyone else. Instead, I hide in the shadows of those around me- screaming inside- wanting to show everyone that I’m important too. But maybe being important doesn’t mean anything. That can bring its own trials. Maybe this world is just full of trials. Trials I don’t want to partake in anymore. Maybe there’s a better life after I leave this world and maybe there isn’t. But just maybe, it has to be better than this empty hell I’m drowning in. Some say life is a gift, but for me it has been nothing more than a curse. Today, my curse will end. Will anyone even care? I don’t think so. My voice was never heard anyways, so what’s the difference?
Suicide is heartbreaking, but teen suicide rips my heart out. I think I’ll kiss my children a little more tonight and talk a little more to them and say a silent prayer for the family of this child.
Photo credit here.