My confused crazy head

I just need some input from some of you. You can go ahead and say what you want. I don’t know what my problem is. I have such a wonderful husband and family, but when I hear of career advancements or “wonderful opportunities” in the work force I always wonder “what if”. I currently only work about 1 night a week, so I am not away from the kids very long at all. Then, I just got a phone call from my Pediatrician’s office asking me if I would like to work part-time as a Nurse Practitioner. I think of the great pay, and I actually will use my skills I was trained to do, but this will take time away from my family because it’s during the day. My husband already said no and I agree, but I feel like “Well, I am not even using what I was trained to do.” “My brain is going to mush because I am forgetting everything I learned as a Nurse Practitioner.” Then, I get an e-mail from a friend that is a Nurse Practitioner, and she was telling me how she passed her boards, she loves her job, life is wonderful, etc. She has no kids and is divorced. She is in a much different situation than me, but I started to feel like I have “waisted my career”.

On another note I look at my kids as they long for me attention. Who is going to give them the constant attention I give them (Xayla is sleeping now and Kobi is with a friend so they are not needing attention right now while I blog :)) as they just almost cling to my leg for me to play with them? Who is going to sit down and do homework with Kobi and give him stickers when he does a good job? Who is going to look at Xayla sitting next to me on the couch with her arms behind her head kicked back like a princess? Only I will think that is the cutest thing.

I know what is right in life, I just don’t know why sometimes I feel that I have to pursue a “career”.

I have to keep my priorities in check and think of the eternal perspective. I am calling the Dr’s office now to tell them that I will not be working for them. I hate when I get in these moods. It seems so easy.

Why am I so crazy at times? 🙂

You great mothers out there please put me in check! I need it! Dr Laura would rip my head off right now :).


3 thoughts on “My confused crazy head

  1. It seems like every time a job offer comes up it sounds good but then you realize it’s more important for you to be home. I’m sure you’ve already prayed about it but that might help you too.The ladies I visit teach are a little older than me and maybe a little wiser. When I talk to them about my struggles with raising small children they tell me that life has seasons. Right now I may be missing out on some things but the children will only be small for a while. Soon this season will be over and before we know it our kiddies will be big. It helps me to think of life in that way but you have to do what makes you truly happy. 🙂

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  2. I think you do what makes your family the happiest. When they are happy, you are too. You may need to find something…..a hobby that you can do. Something that is all your own & makes you feel like you are still growing & developing yourself as a person, as an individual. But something that will allow you to still be the super mom that you are. The mom that is there for her kids.For me it’s photography & journaling & recording our lives. Or cooking, or sewing. I have a lot I jump around to. Just an idea.

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  3. Thanks guys. Candace, that’s a good idea. I agree. I have been looking for things I enjoy to do rather than living a mundane life. I think I forget I can do other things besides work in the health profession. You guys have really helped me.

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