Someone e-mailed me some funny quotes. I just had to laugh.
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you> get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. > – Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.> – Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops> to breathe. > – Jimmy Durante
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness,> can be trained to do most things.> – Jilly Cooper
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you > nothing. It was here first.> – Mark Twain
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.> – Ed Furgol>> Money can’t buy you happiness… but it does bring you a more pleasant form > of misery.> – Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up.> – Joe Namath>> Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.> – Herbert Henry Asquith
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation… as you grow older, it will avoid> you.> – Winston Churchill>>
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to > wear out, fall out, or spread out.> – Phyllis Diller>>
The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good spit it out.> – Unknown
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go > anywhere.>> – Unknown>>
Be careful of your tongue: It’s kept in a wet place and could easily slip.> – Unknown
